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my lil sunshine


Prayer For Courage

Dear God, give me courage,
for perhaps I lack it more than anything else.

I need courage before men against their threats
and against their seductions.

I need courage to bear unkindness, mockery, contradiction.

I need courage to fight against the devil, against terrors and troubles, temptations, attractions, darkness and false lights, against tears, depression, and above all fear.

I need Your help, dear God.

Strengthen me with Your love and Your grace.

Console me with Your blessed Presence and grant me the courage to persevere until I am with You forever in heaven.

daisies

July 2010
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the story

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true...I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines
and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks

You do...I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends
who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what
I've been through like you do

And I was made for you...

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean a-thing
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you

now i lay me down to sleep


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tiny china doll

break even

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god
That I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even.

Her best days will be some of my worst,
She finally met a man
That's gonna put her first,
While I'm wide awake,
She's no trouble sleeping,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even, even no.

What am I supposed
to do when the best part of me
was always you
What am I supposed to say
when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Coz she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks
no it don't break even, even no.

What am I gonna do
when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say
when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces

One still in love
while the other one's leaving
I'm falling to pieces,
Cuz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even
You got his heart and my heart
and none of the pain,
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense
of what little remains, oh.
'Coz you left me with no love,
with no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god
that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break, no it don't
break, no it don't break even no.

What am I gonna do
when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say
when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces,
One still in love
while the other one's leaving
I'm falling to pieces,
Cuz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even

Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, It don't break even, no

i dont know why…

they peek?

and they chew?

and spit out all they see...

a bitter taste?

and still they come?

both here and there?

though i dont know how...

because the links have been removed!!

and worse yet

(more frightening)

do they wish to cause me harm or greater pain?

i dont know why...

do you??!!

but the numbers keep growing...

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hmm…

i will forever miss his thoughts in my head